a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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