i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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