Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
