You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
