another moral hangover. fuck.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
