I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They took my balls.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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