Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
