bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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