No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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