Non-Jews are for practice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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