It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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