PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
