it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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