I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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