she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize