I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
