Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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