She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and she was petting her beer can
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
