I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
