Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
