Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
