just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
