Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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