I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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