So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
