Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize