That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
