I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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