Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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