Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
