Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize