I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
