She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
