when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
