Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
