Do vagina's smell?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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