It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
