Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
