In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
