I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
