Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i dont even know how to be here
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
