All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
nutella sex= disaster
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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