im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
