You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Someone shattered a urinal.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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