You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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