I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
