Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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