Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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