Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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