I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
