so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
