So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
