I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
