I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize