the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
