where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
