Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The best revenge is premature balding
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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