a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
