Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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