she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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