I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
